Don’t touch me.

Seriously. Don’t. I don’t like being touched. Creeps me out. It has nothing to do with germs or phobias or anything like that. Chances are, I just don’t like you. Well, not you personally, but the things you do by existing. You might ‘snurf’ when you breathe, or your jaw clicks when you speak, or you’re always smacking gum. I can’t stand those things and I don’t want you standing over my damn shoulder doing them.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line I just quit liking you people. Too much time wasted with folks who smelled funny or had bad taste or who were just plain weird. Respect my personal space and stay a good 5 to 10 feet away from me at all times. Don’t be offended if I don’t shake your hand, I’m not a fan of handshaking. It’s forced familiarity. Until I know you better, don’t assume you have a right to touch me and don’t ever let me hear you drop my name, Reader, into the middle of a sentence. Sounds like a salesman and I despise those guys.

And one more thing, don’t ever try and do the fist bump, I really hate that. Stupid macho posturing. I’ve seen too many middle aged guys trying to butch up their golf game by doing the ‘bump’ after sinking a putt. You hold out a fist to me and I’ll punch you right in the eye. Swear to God.

Now, do we have an understanding? Good. Because I'm really a people person at heart and I'd hate for any of the above to get in the way of us getting to know each other better.

Posts From Stephe
The Sale of 100 Things: Mushroom Mining
Sunday, September 30, 2018, 5:57 PM :: 220 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe blathers on about his online garage sale.  #Funko #100things #Dorbz #SGA #Pops 
Funko Rant: To All The PEZ I've Loved Before
Sunday, September 9, 2018, 7:29 PM :: 745 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe starts a new obsession on the wrong foot and tries to take the other out of his mouth. PEZ baby! #Funko #Pez
The Sale of 100 Things: First Things First
Thursday, August 30, 2018, 11:44 PM :: 233 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe tries to clean house and shares some thoughts on Dorbz and Box Damage. #Funko #Dorbz #Freddy #MysteryMini #Pops #Mickey #Deadpool
The Sale of 100 Things
Wednesday, August 22, 2018, 2:53 PM :: 311 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe plans a material cleanse of his hoarder aura.  This could be fun #funko #lego #hoarder #hornswoggle
Funko Rant: Best Fundays Ever
Sunday, August 12, 2018, 11:13 PM :: 261 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe reviews Fundays 2018.  We think he liked it. #Funko #Fundays #Freddy #prom
Armas Ad Astra: SPACE FORCE
Wednesday, July 4, 2018, 9:54 AM :: 399 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe does his part for Dog and Country and helps recruit for Space Force!  Armas Ad Astra, amigos.  Joint the mission! #space #spaceforce #jointhemission
Funko Review: Making Fun - The Story of Funko
Sunday, June 3, 2018, 11:04 PM :: 443 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Movies
Stephe reviews 'Making Fun: The Story of Funko' because he's got an opinion too.  And he could have been a contender. #funko, #MakingFun
Funko Rant: Everything is Grail
Friday, May 4, 2018, 4:30 PM :: 789 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
What is your quest?  We seek the Holy Grail!  ARRRRGGGGHHHHH #Funko #FunkoRant #Grail #Pops
Funko Rant - How Much Is That Proto In The Window
Friday, March 23, 2018, 11:03 PM :: 520 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe is back from the stroke (the bad kind) and has a few thoughts left to articulate.  #Funko #funkorant #protos
Funko Rant - True Collectors
Sunday, February 25, 2018, 11:28 AM :: 577 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe's first post since the stroke on being a 'true collector' of Funko.  Totally germane, correctly spelled and punctuated, too. #Funko #FunkoRant #TrueCollector #Flippers
See All Articles From Stephe