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Don’t touch me.

Seriously. Don’t. I don’t like being touched. Creeps me out. It has nothing to do with germs or phobias or anything like that. Chances are, I just don’t like you. Well, not you personally, but the things you do by existing. You might ‘snurf’ when you breathe, or your jaw clicks when you speak, or you’re always smacking gum. I can’t stand those things and I don’t want you standing over my damn shoulder doing them.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line I just quit liking you people. Too much time wasted with folks who smelled funny or had bad taste or who were just plain weird. Respect my personal space and stay a good 5 to 10 feet away from me at all times. Don’t be offended if I don’t shake your hand, I’m not a fan of handshaking. It’s forced familiarity. Until I know you better, don’t assume you have a right to touch me and don’t ever let me hear you drop my name, Reader, into the middle of a sentence. Sounds like a salesman and I despise those guys.

And one more thing, don’t ever try and do the fist bump, I really hate that. Stupid macho posturing. I’ve seen too many middle aged guys trying to butch up their golf game by doing the ‘bump’ after sinking a putt. You hold out a fist to me and I’ll punch you right in the eye. Swear to God.

Now, do we have an understanding? Good. Because I'm really a people person at heart and I'd hate for any of the above to get in the way of us getting to know each other better.

Posts From Stephe
Funko Rant - FDO 2017 Missed it by that much!
Tuesday, May 23, 2017, 9:41 PM :: 42 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe gets honest with his feelings.  It's kind of yucky.  #Funko #FunkoRant #Spastik #FDO2017
Funko Rant: Qui-Gone
Monday, May 1, 2017, 3:33 PM :: 100 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe has a few thoughts in regards to the Qui-Gon debacle. #Funko #FunkoRant #QuiJon #Target
Brockmire - Keeping it brutal
Wednesday, April 5, 2017, 11:01 PM :: 172 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Entertainment
IFC's Brockmire steps to the plate.  A standing triple.  #Brockmire #IFC #Brockmirereview #Baseball
Funko Rant: The Myth of Mystery Boxes (Sub-Boxes, Too)
Sunday, March 12, 2017, 9:30 PM :: 214 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
More Rants...no cussing this time around, shitbags. #Funko #FunkoRant #Pops
Funko Rant: Flipping Flippers
Sunday, January 15, 2017, 8:23 PM :: 339 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe catches up on some sleep and works through some issues.  #Funko #FunkoRant #Flippers
Funko Rant: The Rant In Review
Friday, January 6, 2017, 10:28 PM :: 314 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe catches his breath and looks back upon his lamentations and openly weeps.  Fun.  #Funko #FunkoRant #Dorbz #Pops #Wobblers
Merry Christmas! A Poem for Winter
Thursday, December 22, 2016, 1:09 PM :: 349 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Dedicated to Maynard Krebs and the rest of Beatnik Nation. 
Funko Rant: My Top 10 Funkos (#7 Will Amaze You)
Monday, November 21, 2016, 10:52 PM :: 570 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe's Top 10 Funkos!  (You Won't Believe #3) #funko #spastik #Dorbz #wobblers #Peekaboo #Hikari #clickbait
Funko Rant: Fright Night Review
Monday, October 24, 2016, 5:46 PM :: 584 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe returns to San Diego for another round of 'Drink Your Fellow Funatics Under The Table' AKA Funko Fright Night.  He also loses.  #Funko #FrightNight #Pops #Dorbz #FunkoFrightNight
Funko Rant: New Wobblers Review
Sunday, October 2, 2016, 10:10 PM :: 529 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Ewww...pretty new wobblers.  Nice work, Funko! #funko #funkowobbler #wobblers #pop #dorbz #jjwatt #houstontexans
See All Articles From Stephe